dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
