Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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