I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
