Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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