Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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