Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
