Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
