I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
