We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
