My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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