My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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