plz talk dirty to me
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
