I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
