Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We got so high we made milksteak
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
