After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
