I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
