I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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