I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
