Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
