Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize