Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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