talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
