I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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