She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I would fuck him just for his dog
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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