omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
