Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
