every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
