I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
