Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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