The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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