You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
