Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize