If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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