ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
