Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
