Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
