dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
