Non-Jews are for practice
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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