she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
