i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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