with your own penis?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
