I wannas sexs uuuuu
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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