You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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