when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
foreskin is a definite game changer
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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