today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
