One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
