I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
