what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
