she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
