HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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