ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
